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The Very Merry Maids-of-Honor: Class of 1591


“LADIES (and ladies’ devotees), by all means disregard this tale . . . to the disparagement, to the ignominy and censure of your sex  . . . . Skip this canto: it is not essential – my story is no less clear without it . . .That I dote upon you, my tongue has confessed – it has never stinted your praises – and I have proved it, furthermore, in a thousand ways; I have demonstrated to you that I am, and can only be yours.”

-  Introduction to the Twenty-Eighth Canto

of Orlando Furioso, as translated from Italian into English, 1591



Detail of Title Page from Orlando Furioso
While the leashed spaniel on the cover page of Orlando Furioso is endearing, it’s a giveaway that someone’s barking up the wrong tree for the author’s identity.

Since uncovering that the English translator of Ludovico Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso was not John Harington, but a mystery jokester with breathtaking command of both Italian and English and the poetic chops to pull off the exquisite translation of 38,746 lines of ottava rima, aren’t you a little curious about why Queen Elizabeth declared it an endangerment to the morals of her Maids-of-Honor? 

 

If we follow a few literary clues first to the bottom of history’s back stairs, historical records there will provide that answer. 

 

Literary Clue #1

Initially, the mystery poet supplied the oh-so-curious Maids with a translation of only one of the 42 Cantos of Ariosto’s epic. That tiny, tantalizing taste of the forbidden banquet of battles, quests, fantastical creatures, knights, kings, commoners, enchantresses, shield maidens and simpering heroines that was otherwise locked up in Italian and unavailable for English readers caused more than a stir at court.  When the mystery translator met the Queen’s challenge and completed the titanic translation to liberate poor Harington from exile, he did so with a flourish: publishing the entire 42 Cantos in English in February 1591, exquisitely bound with colored illustrations, Harington’s motto and equally large portraits of Harington and  . . .  . his leashed spaniel. Now that’s display of sprezzatura with a sense of humor!

 

Literary Clue #2

The single Canto that the mystery poet chose to whet the Maids’ appetites for more fulsome verboten delights was not the first, middle or the last, but the 28th Canto. Seemingly a random choice, until you look closer at the 28th Canto’s text to see why he chose it.


Woman at the Lute
“Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more; Men were deceivers ever; one foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never. . .The fraud of men was ever so . . .” from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing

Literary Clue #3 

The 28th Canto opens with an Introduction, quoted above, directly addressing female readers (and their admirers) and instructing them to skip the tale that follows and not read it because it will disparage women.  I can think of nothing more likely to entice a group of intrepid Maids-of-Honor to tear into a story than introducing it with:  “Ladies should not read this!”  Clearly satirizing contemporary prohibitions on what women were permitted to read, the Introduction guaranteed that the Maids would read what followed.  Conveniently, the jokester poet could hide his identity behind Ariosto’s.

 

Literary Clue #4 

A little Italian lesson pillowed in the center of a fluffy declaration of long-held, exclusive and proven love: “That I dote upon you, my tongue has confessed . . and I have proved it, furthermore, in a thousand ways; I have demonstrated to you that I am, and can only be yours.” 

 

Hand me my ostrich feather fan and the smelling salts!  Having secured the full attention of the all Maids (and the world’s English-speaking female population), the joke is, that in Italian, instead of the familiar singular “tu” or the formal “Lei” or “Loro” forms, Ariosto used the “vi” or familiar second person plural.  Therefore, “I dote on you . . . [and] can only be yours” is wickedly funny in Italian because he is professing his singular devotion to . . . well, every woman he has ever seduced or romanced, just like the male protagonists in the tale that follows. 

 

But, translated into English, the linguistic finesse of Italian’s “tu”, “vi”, Lei” and “Loro” all become “you”, alluringly ambiguous because “you” can mean many or one, someone you know well, or not at all.  Was the English translation of Ariosto’s 28th Canto the mystery poet’s flirtation aimed at every woman in Elizabeth’s court, or a secret declaration of love for just one woman? If the latter, which woman?

 

Literary Clue #5

The tale itself is as outrageously bawdy and funny as advertised. While the Maids devoured the 28th Canto’s spicy details of how two handsome but deeply narcissistic guys set out to prove that every woman can be seduced, did the mystery poet intend to illustrate the similarities between Ariosto’s swaggering Astolfo and Jocando and the serial seducers in Elizabeth’s court?  


Queen Elizabeth Sieve Portrait
State Secret Alert! Queen Elizabeth was so nearsighted that she could not see further than the end of her nose!

Now, that we have followed the literary clues down the backstairs of history, here is Historical Clue #1: 1591 was a banner year for illicit and secret love affairs between her Majesty’s Maids-of-Honor and her male courtiers.  Most of those oh-so-sweet, forbidden liaisons took place surreptitiously, right under her Majesty’s nose, only to be later discovered.


Talk about opening a treasure chest of Elizabethan Secrets!

 

In the next posts, we will see which of the Maids of the Class of 1591 proved Astolfo and Jocondo right and if any proved them wrong.

 

But for now, a State Secret Alert:   Queen Elizabeth was very near-sighted. Her Maids could hide quite a lot from her, for a while, at least! 

 

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